She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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