He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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