it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
