so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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