You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
