Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He shit in the fireplace
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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