last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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