So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
