but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
