i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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