oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
