I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
