he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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