the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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