i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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