I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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