my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
