And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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