I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
