I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
