when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
