i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
