im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
