My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
