I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
