Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
