i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm too high and old for this...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
