Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
