i think my mom watched the whole time
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
