You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
