I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
