How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
