Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
