I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
