is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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