We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
