I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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