Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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