We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
