i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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