Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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