i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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