3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
