ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
