The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
