she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
