i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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