All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
