why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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