Where is the hickey?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
